Thursday 5 May 2011

Monthly Update and Joke!

Well it's that time again - monthly joke time. Can't believe a month has past since I last posted anything on here! I have been busy though. Writing of course. Completed Assignment 2, just editing and then sending off to my tutor. I have also written a few short stories which I am entering in a  few competitions (fingers and everything else crossed that someone will like them).

I hope everyone enjoyed THE wedding - I certainly did, except for the fact that watching this wedding made me realise just how 'Senior' I am!

Anyway, here is this month's monthly joke:-
No Speak English
An Italian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.  

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.  

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store and …
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I worry about you sometimes.  What were you thinking?

Her husband speaks English!

Now get back to your emails.


Ciao for now. A1Writer

Posted by A1 Writer at 22:04

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 May 2011 at 08:35

    Hi Pauline

    Spooky! Your blog page is the same design as mine (although yours has much more info!). I'm just waiting for my start-up grant from my council before I start my virtual secretarial business, but just wondered if you could help me with some queries? Do you use a digital dictation package and where did you buy this from? Did you have to have a lawyer look over your terms and conditions or did you just compile this yourself? How much do you charge per hour?

    Sorry if this seems like 20 questions! I have got a business adviser but she always seems to be busy and never gets back to me. Good luck with the writing. My blog is www.writermums.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. A1 Writer16 May 2011 at 22:10

    Hi Alison, Thanks for following my blog. I have reciprocated (although I am not a mum (I was never blessed).

    It was interesting to read that you were waiting for your ‘start-up’ grant from your council to start your virtual secretarial business. There was no such luck from the UK Councils when I started (over five years ago). I had to start up on my own.

    I was also rather surprised at the queries you are asking bearing in mind that you said earlier that you were launching your virtual secretarial business in July. I would have thought that these queries would have been addressed long before now. However, I will answer as follows:

    I use NCH software (http://www.nch.com - express scribe software package). There is a free package, which you can download, but for privacy and not being subject to advertisements, I bought it.

    I had a solicitor look over my terms and conditions.

    Sorry but the rates I charge are private between me and the client. This is because I was receiving a lot of enquiries from people and/or companies who either wanted to sell me their transcription services, or were just trying to find out what my prices were so that they could undercut me! So now, I negotiate my rates direct with the client.

    Finally, regarding your comment on your business adviser, if I had one who always seemed too busy and never got back to me, I would look for another adviser.

    I hope the above is of help and wish you every success in your new business venture.

    Kind regards. Pauline.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous19 May 2011 at 15:49

    Nice joke, I chuckled heartily. It’s also not so far from the truth. I’m an British expat living in Spain and have had plenty of embarrassing moments in bars and shops - asking for a coño instead of a caña, for example (the second is a beer, the first is the ‘c’ word!).

    Best regards,
    Rich A
    (Writers Bureau student)

    ReplyDelete
  4. A1 Writer19 May 2011 at 16:21

    Thanks Richard. Glad to make you chuckle. Which part of Spain are you hailing from?

    Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing!

    Regards. Pauline

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous20 May 2011 at 09:52

    I’m in Madrid - the dusty, mountainous middle. I believe it’s one of Europe’s highest capital cities above sea level. Perhaps the commensurate lack of oxygen explains the crazy driving…

    Rich

    ReplyDelete
  6. A1 Writer20 May 2011 at 10:02

    ...And what a great place to inspire the creative writing soul,Richard.

    Pauline

    ReplyDelete

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