Tuesday 27 September 2011

I apologise!

To my followers, please forgive my not placing the monthly joke (for September) and comments since 18 August 2011. Unfortunately I have not been very well since an articulated truck decided it didn't like the back of my car! It didn't help when the policeman attending the scene informed my 77 year old mother that I was lucky! Had the container hit my car in the drivers side rather than the back, I would not be here. Thanks Mr Policeman, mum nearly had a heart attack!

Anyway I am recovering, I suffered whiplash and am undergoing physio and counselling for the depression and anxiety about driving near trucks.

My writing has sufffered as well, but I am still here and hope to be making some comments soon.

In the meantime. if I have missed anything, or failed to respond to any comments, please forgive me.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing!

Ciao for now. x



Thursday 18 August 2011

New Warning Released!

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver.
Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and ice will ruin your brain.
Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth.


Apparently, ice is lethal! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice - Just drink it straight.


Copy & paste this immediately. You could save a life. And don't forget, ice also sunk the Titanic!

Thursday 11 August 2011

Ten Top Tips For Twists To Avoid - Writers' Bureau E-Zine Section

I have just finished reading the Ten Top Tips For Twists To Avoid article (my goodness all those 'Ts')  in the Writers E-Zine section for August 2011 at Writers Bureau and I'm gutted!

Before reading the article, I was ecstatic. Having completed  several short stories, which I personally thought were great (well I am my # 1 fan), after spending several agonising months working on my little darlings, getting the plots and themes just right, perfecting the spelling and grammar, ensuring the layout was in accordance with the guidelines, making sure the word count wasn't one word over the required number,  mothering my characters, and  carrying out laborious  research to ensure certain facts were correct - (well, I couldn't have one of my characters using a mobile phone in the 1945, could I?)  All done and dusted. Yippee! I shouted. I can now send off my stories to various competitions and publishers.  But before I do, I'll just have a read at the August edition of the Writers' Bureau E-zine website. Cue - click on Ten Top Tips...

Anyway, according to the tips for twists to avoid, it seems all my new short stories will end up on a publisher's slush pile.  Whaah!

Here's the list:

Fable of the Porcupine

I never knew porcupines were so cute as babies. Good story with a great message.
Have you ever seen a baby porcupine?






Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wednesday 10 August 2011

I firmly believe there is hope for us!

2011: The following questions were set in last year's GSE examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.


Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar


Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists


Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire


Monday 1 August 2011

Nearly One Year On!

I can't believe that with just one month to go, I will have been a student of WB for one year, and yet I have  completed just two assignments! 

I can only apologise to myself for the dwindling enthusiasm of the course, and I have no excuse. I could, of course, say that 'life is taking over'- but at the end of the day, I am just not motivated enough to finish assignment three and start number four.

I did, however, receive good comments from my tutor on my first two assignments, although to be honest, I wasn't too enamoured at my tutor's, 'see this post for advice on dialogue punctuation' with an html link to their blog/website, comment on my second assignment.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having errors pointed out to me, I expect that and I am all for people advertising their websites, blogs and books  at every opportunity. But I do take exception at having blatant adverts linked to advice comments on my course work, especially when the comments referred to two, (yes, just two) 'dialogue punctuation' errors, in a 1,180 word short (mostly dialogue) story. My 'errors' were typographical ones, where I'd missed a comma before, 'he said' in one place and I used a capital letter instead of a lower case letter in another.

Nevertheless, I decided, what the heck, as my tutor is a published writer, I'll have a look at the article. Who knows, there may be something on punctuation that I don't know, or something new and I clicked on the link. The article was good, for someone who knew absolutely nothing about dialogue punctuation and was new to writing.  As I said, my two errors were typographical. There was, however, a link in the article referring to the tutor's  'checklist for writers' book and thinking there would be a more detailed resume of the book, and other tips and advice that I would find useful, I clicked on that link. I was taken directly to Ebay with a view to purchasing the book.

There were mixed reviews from other buyers and even though I didn't really need another advice book on punctuation, dialogue or otherwise, as the book (rrp £9.99 which I think is reasonable for a good writing instruction book) was being sold brand new for £5.82 with free delivery, and my tutor had written it, I bought it. At least I can add it to my rather extensive library. :-)

Was it a good buy? Well, to be honest, it's not the best resource book on writing, but it was easy to read and will be helpful for anyone who is just starting out. There are some good tips on sending in articles to magazines, and I will keep it in my collection simply because my tutor co-authored it.


Think I ought to get back to my assignments.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

Monthly Joke


The Irish  Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To be a Millionaire' and towards the end of the program he’d already won 500,000 Euros.

   "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter. "But for a million Euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"

   "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

   "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

   a) Sparrow

   b) Thrush

   c) Magpie

   d) Cuckoo."

   "I haven't got a clue," said Mick, ''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin."

   Chris called up Paddy, explained the circumstances, and passed him over to Mick who repeated the question to him.

   "*#+*in hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple, it's a cuckoo."

   "Are you sure?"

   "I'm #*+*in sure."

   Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."

   "Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

   "Dat it is."

   There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick. You've won 1 million Euros!"

   The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

   "Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

   "Because he lives in a *#*+in clock!"


Sunday 24 July 2011

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yes it's that time again, another year another day. So Happy Birthday Pauline from  Yourself!

Saturday 16 July 2011

Giving Up - Part 2

Resign - We'll Pay You!

Hmm, a  £3.5 Million pounds (or for my American readers - $5,649,717.51) payoff.  So that's where I went wrong. Maybe I should have resigned instead of being a casualty of cut-backs!





Monday 11 July 2011

Is There Anybody there?

Hello, hello, is it me you're looking for?

Later...

Giving Up? Course Not, Just Being An Old Grump!

For the last few weeks I've been very grumpy. In spite of knowing that there are a lot of people worse off than me, I just can't shake off that feeling of no longer being useful. I’m sick of hearing from the government that there are hundreds of jobs available for those who want to work.

Well, thank you Mr Prime Minister - I was in a job before you came into power. A job I had enjoyed for 22 months. I lost my job just one month before my 56th birthday. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to work and I worked very hard. I was working for the Ministry of Transport - yes, the government's transport department - but due to cutbacks introduced by your ministers, my job had to go, and because I was classed as a "contract worker" (my contract was renewed every three months) I didn't qualify for one of those nice humongous pay-offs or qualify for a civil service pension (less than two-years service you see). Though to be fair, I did get an excellent reference!

Well I have spent a year trying to get one of these so-called available jobs. I've being assured by twenty-something (going on ten) recruitment counsellors "Oh no, madam, it has nothing to do with you age, honest - besides ageism is against the law- (said with tongue in cheek). The fact is we just don't have jobs that are worthy of a person with your calibre and qualifications. Erm, have you thought about remarrying?" Say what???

So Mr Prime Minister - I'd welcome any suggestions of how you expect me to work until I'm 70!

To add insult to injury, you are now insisting that people will have to work until they are 70, because there isn't enough money in the state pension coffers. Not only that, women born in 1954 who were expecting to retire and receive their state pension (miniscule as it is) at the age of 60 (I fall into that category), will have to wait an extra two years before they can draw on their pension.



Friday 8 July 2011

JOKE OF THE MONTH!

The reason why writers should never, ever, rely on the spell checker...


Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.


***

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing...

Thursday 30 June 2011

Slow Downloading?

Is it me,
Is it my PC?
Is there a go-slow?
I just don't know.
So what's going on?
Where are my followers pics-
On Blogger.com?
                             
(c) A1Writer 2011


Saturday 18 June 2011

NEW BLOG TITLE!

Just a quick  message to all my followers - you will notice I have changed my blog name from Senior Moments to A1Writer's Senior Moments.  Hope it doesn't cause any problems!

Have a great weekend everyone.

That's all for now....

Thursday 16 June 2011

Feeling Despondent!

After feeling good about my writing a few weeks ago, I decided to pen a couple of stories and enter them into various competitions. Good job I haven't sent them off as yet, as my tutor's comments on my last assignment has left me feeling pessimistic.

I can't even drum up  enthusiasm for writing anything except a moan on my blog. Not that anyone reads it, so why should it bother me? It does. I am a writer for goodness sake! At least that is what I keep telling myself. 

Perhaps the job recruiting agencies are right - 'you are just too old now Pauline, best find yourself a millionaire (I wish) who will fall in love with you and look after you for the rest of your days, then you can forget all this nonsense of being a writer.'

I think a G and T and chocolates are in order. On second thoughts, I'll just have a chat with my mum. She has every faith in me and whilst some might say mum's are biased, believe me, my mum tells me straight if my stories are a load of twaddle - for free!  I may be in my late fifties, but I still love a hug from my mum!

Assignment F2

Well I finally completed Assignment F2 and sent it off to my tutor on Saturday 11th and received a response on Monday! Apparently she liked my research (I was given an 'excellent' comment on that) and she liked the ending of my short story, but didn't feel there were  enough 'layers!'

I began F3 at the same time as F2 and have nearly finished this one. I was feeling very pleased with myself because it's taken me 10 months to get this far with the course,  but now I'm  not sure if my story which I have written for this assignment  will have enough 'layers' to satisfy my tutor. Guess it's going to take another 10 months to complete F3.

I've also been sent F4, and had a quick peek at the questions and am loosing it, big time!

Oh well back to the drawing board.

Following my own words... keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

Monday 6 June 2011

Writing Exercise!

I am really, really, really peeved with myself! I know adverbs should be used sparingly (hey another adverb!), but I need to get over my frustration...

When I first signed up and paid for  the Comprehensive Creative Writing Course at Writers Bureau in September 2010, one of the first things I did whilst waiting for the materials to arrive in the post, was to look at the WB's website and find out all I could about the course.  Well one does, doesn't one? I mean, isn't that a logical thing to do? Or am I being obtuse?

Anyway, I logged in, looked at the design and clicked on all the titles in the menu bar and read each section. I scrutinized the Students Community Home page, My Course Documents page, the Students Forum (including reading all the posts in the different sections), the Resources page, Chapter and Verse, Tutors - I know, I know, my list is going on a bit here, but what's the point in these pages being on the website if no-one reads them?  I even clicked on the  words highlighted in a different colour than the main text on each page because  when I was learning how to design and set up websites, I was told that readers would know that a highlighted word, or phrase etc., was a 'link' to be clicked on. But then what do I know, I'm just a simple, old aged woman who doesn't understand how this 'new technology' thingy works. - For heavens sake - this new technology was invented by people of my generation - so, of course I b****y well know!

I also know what FAQs means. So naturally, being an inquisitive person, I clicked on the highlighted letters FAQs and also the highlighted phrase that said, FAQs - Frequently Asked Questions, and guess what I found? A list of all the most common frequently asked questions and even better, answers to those questions.  Wow! I thought. Just think, because I took the trouble to go through the website and read all the pages etc. there will be no need for me to make an absolute idiot of myself or waste anyone's time by posting questions on the forum that are already answered in the FAQs section!

So why am I peeved with myself?  Because I am so stupid. I have wasted time taking the trouble to check out the website, and eventually (another adverb), read through all my course materials and it's all been unnecessary. All I have to do is post a question on the forum and someone else will answer it for me. Simples!

End of grief...

(DISCLAIMER: Please note that the above has been a writing exercise for the author (that's me) and is in no way, shape or form a crticism aimed at any specific person other than me.)

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

Later....

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Joke of the Month!

Two elderly women had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes, she just stared and glared at her.

Finally, she said, “How soon do you need to know?”




More later...

Tuesday 31 May 2011

Update about Lost Website Link!

Further to my "gripe" earlier. I did send an email to the British Institute for Learning and Development to ask where their website was. I received a very prompt reply (I'm so impressed I've awarded the BILD a Gold star ) a few moments ago. Apparently for some reason the website stopped working and they have informed their IT Department of the problem. They tell me it will be working again later today.

As I always believe things happen for a reason - some good has come out of my "gripe", it got me fired up to write. Yippee! Am now tapping away at my stories again and my assignments.

Have a great day.

Later...

Monday 30 May 2011

I'm Grumpy Today - How time flies!

Well here we are another Bank Holiday is about to end. I don't know about you, but I feel as if I have been on holiday for the last two months. I guess that could be one reason why I haven't felt in the mood to do any writing of note. I have however, been reading a great deal, mainly books on learning the craft of writing. So whilst I haven't put pen to paper, I have been carrying out intensive research.

I have also been reading a lot of winning stories in various competitions, in particular those submitted by other students to Writers Bureau.The standard of the writing is so high, I am wondering why those students have actually signed up for a writing course. In my opinion they don't need to, but then as a novice writer, what do I know?

I signed up for the WB comprehensive creative writing course to become a successful writer, to obtain individual guidance from expert tutors, to learn how to improve my writing skills, and be shown - in the words of the WB advertisement - "... exactly how to become a published writer." The other selling point of the course for me was "It's ideal for beginners. No previous experience or special background is required." And, finally WB states the course is accredited by the ODL Quality Control and they are a member of the British Institute of Learning and Development. Great I thought, sounds like a good place for me to start my learning.

But, having signed up in September 2010, sending in the first assignment in February 2011 and still dithering with assignment 2, I am beginning to feel out of my depth. More so, when some students  comment on the Students Forum (which is rather basic)  that are new students and are also struggling with assignments 1, 2, 3 and so on, then go on to say they have not only won prize in the WB competition, had articles published in various magazines etc., but they have also written and published their novel/s and short stories, before they have completed the assignments. All of which makes them successful writers in my book (please excuse the pun). This again raises the question, why do these successful writiers need to sign up for a writing course?

I was thinking about entering the WB short story competition, but having read previous entries, and not having got past Assignment 2 of the course, I don't feel my writing is of the high standard required. In addition, as the competition is open to non-students and advice on writing is being advertised regularly on the WB's Blog, I am now wondering why I paid nearly three hundred pounds for the course. Especially as the course materials don't contain anything different  than my extensive collection of books on the craft.

Friday 20 May 2011

What 'Jump Break'

Has anyone else  become frustrated with the editing tools on their dashboard?

Whenever I try to insert a 'jump break' for some reason it doesn't work immediately. It's not that I am stupid or not able to understand how computer programs work - I have after all being using computers for over 30 years - but there are times when I could cheerfully throw my laptop out of the nearest window. The only thing that stopped me from  carrying out this vandalism on this occasion (well a couple of things), is:

a)  my windows are double glazed and would cost an arm and a leg to replace - I know, I may be able to reclaim the cost from my insurance, but I doubt the insurance company would consider 'damage caused by a frustrated would be writer' as a valid reason.

b) having to replace my laptop would have caused my accountant to have a nervous breakdown (he is still trying to get his head around my change of career and has sleepless nights waiting for my next excuse for not bringing in any steady income) and

c) (yes I know this is three things), just as I was about to throw it out of the window, I realized all my work hadn't been back-up for a while and I couldn't digest the thought of having to re-write years of drivel.

So what did I do? I backed up my work of course - now I can throw my laptop out of the window!  End of frustration - all I want is to be able to inert a 'jump break' and for it to work. Is that asking too much?

Later...

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.


P.S. By the way if anyone out there is interested in psychics, mediums etc., this guy is very good:
http://www.tonystopford.co.uk

Thursday 5 May 2011

Monthly Update and Joke!

Well it's that time again - monthly joke time. Can't believe a month has past since I last posted anything on here! I have been busy though. Writing of course. Completed Assignment 2, just editing and then sending off to my tutor. I have also written a few short stories which I am entering in a  few competitions (fingers and everything else crossed that someone will like them).

I hope everyone enjoyed THE wedding - I certainly did, except for the fact that watching this wedding made me realise just how 'Senior' I am!

Anyway, here is this month's monthly joke:-
No Speak English
An Italian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.  

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.  

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store and …
(Please scroll down)



Monday 4 April 2011

Joke of the Month

Being Yorkshire born and bred I can relate to this:-

'A Yorkshireman man walks into a Leeds High Street bank & asks for a loan. He tells the bank manager he is going to Australia on business for two weeks & needs to borrow £5,000.
 
The bank manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Yorkshireman hands over the keys and documents of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.  After scrutinising the logbook and everything checks out, the bank manager agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan...


The bank manager and the bank staff all enjoy a good laugh at the rough-looking Yorkshireman for using a £120,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5000 loan. The bank manager then instructs an employee of the bank to drive and park the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage.

Two weeks later, the Yorkshireman returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest of £15.41.
 
The bank manager says to the Yorkshireman, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely but, we are a little puzzled...
 
While you were away, we checked you out further and found that you are a multi-millionaire. We are puzzled as to why you would bother to borrow "£5,000”.
 
The Yorkshireman replies: "Where else in Leeds can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return"?


Have a great day. A1Writer

Sunday 27 March 2011

Census

Don't forget to complete and send in your census form from today. It is an offence to ignore it.

Thursday 24 March 2011

A Book I Just Had To Buy

I recently purchased a book entitled "On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft" by one of my favourite authors, Stephen King... yes THE Stephen King author of Carrie, The Shining, Misery and Tommyknockers etc.,

King's  non-fiction book "On Writing" is excellent. The first part entitled CV is a fascinating humorous  account of his life as a writer (he wrote his first story at the age of six entitled Mr Rabbit Trick),  and there is a section entitled Tools covering straight forward and  valuable tips for aspiring writers. The book also includes the winning short story from the ON WRITING competition.

I read it in one day. I couldn't  put it down. I loved it and learnt a great deal on the craft of writing and will have pride of place in my extensive reference book collection.

I can only agree with the following testimonials displayed on the back cover:-

'Not since Dickens has a writer had so many readers by the throat...King's imagination is vast. He knows how to engage the deepest sympathies of his readers... It is part biography, part collection of tips for the aspiring writer. In the final chapters, King tells, in graphic detail, the story of his recent accident... a bizzare and absorbing story, told brilliantly by one of the greatest storytellers of our time' Guardian

'The childhood memoir is a triumphant display of wit, storytelling and guts. His advice t writers is hard-nosed, pratical and level-headed in the classic journalistic Orwell-Hemingway tradition' Evening Standard

'Absolutely fascinating... basic instructions...sensible advice'The Sunday Times

'Illuminating' Independent

'Energetic, vivid and observant' Daily Telegraph


If you can get hold of a copy (W H Smiths (UK) currently have it in stock at a discounted price), I thoroughly recommend it and just wish I'd bought it when it was first published in 2000.

Happy reading and learning...

Thursday 17 March 2011

Just a quickie!

I haven't written anything on my blog for a while. This has been due to working on the second assignment of my writing course. Added to that I've been assisting one of my writer clients with his new book. I have also been working on building up my business  - being self employed I still have to earn a few bucks to eat! So there hasn't been a great deal of spare time to add to my blog.

But, I am still here, and read all the blogs I am following and I just wanted to say thanks to all those who have signed up to follow me since my last post.

Have decided to enter a couple of writing competitions - who knows I may get lucky.

Speaking of luck... I did have a win on the UK Lottery last week - Yippee!

Have to get back to editing my client's work now, as they say time is money.

Speak soon...

Have a fabulous day everyone and....

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

A1Writer.

Monday 7 March 2011

The Bottle of Wine

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:


"Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip had been a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail,until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,she said:

'Good trade!'"



Hope you enjoyed the above. My ex husband didn't... he thought he was worth at least a bottle of Jack Daniels!

Have a great day.

More later...

Saturday 26 February 2011

Over the Hill!

I am really peeved! Over the hill now apparently. Too old to be considered for work, men my age only want to date twenty-somethings and I've even lost my touch in baking cakes!


Think I'll just crawl into my cubby hole and cry. sob sob.


Perhaps there is a story here???

Thursday 24 February 2011

Monthly Joke - Extra

I know I have posted a joke for February, but as there has been so much bad news around the world this month, I thought an extra joke would cheer everyone, if only for a moment. I came across the following joke and it really made me smile.  Enjoy...


A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching!

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell...

Just a Little Poem!

Several years ago, when I was sweet twenty-----something, (Well okay, it's more than several years) and working for a Trades Union, I was elected as the Union's Staff representative and had to attend the shop stewards/staff representatives training course. On the first day,  (I was the only female amongst fifteen guys), we were asked to introduce ourselves and state what our current jobs were.


When  I  explained that I was employed by the Union as a secretary working for three full time trades union officers, one of the young men on the course laughed and said, 'That's not a real job is it, you just sit around all day doing your nails and sit on the bosses lap.'  


To say I was livid was an understatement. But, rather than swipe him with my best handbag (well 2 shillings and 6 pennies was a lot for a handbag then), I stood very close to him (invading his personal space - yes I have seen (and love) Dirty Dancing), and calmly explained precisely what a secretary did, how I spent two years at secretarial college learning how to write in a new language (shorthand) and how to use all office machinery - including typing on an antiquated manual typewriter! I also handed him a dictionary and suggested that he used it to learn the meaning of the words I used.   Many years later, I was fortunate to be seconded to the position of a full-time officer...but I digress.


The reason for today's post is to publish a poem I wrote some years after that course. I needed to get the incident out of my system.
I hope you enjoy...

Monday 14 February 2011

Congratulations to me!

This is just a quickie...


I am so pleased with myself.  I have actually completed Assignment 1 of the Creative Writing Course I signed up with Writers Bureau in September 2010. It's only taken me eighteen weeks to complete.  If I carry on like this with the rest of the assignments (20 in all), I reckon I will complete the whole course in about 6.9230 years!


Ah well, 'Rome wasn't built in a day' as the saying goes, but I really should speed up a tad. I mean, one is not getting any younger, and I do so want to write a 'best seller' and become a millionnaire before I reach 60. What's that you say? In your dreams?


Speaking of congratulations... it was wonderful  to see the film  'The King's Speech win so many BAFTA awards, and Colin Firth... hmm... if only I was ten years younger. I know, I know - 'In your dreams'. So that's just where I am going now, to the land of nod and my dreams.


Ciao for now. A1Writer UK

Tuesday 1 February 2011

Monthly Joke

How A Misspelled Word Changed The World....

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot...

Monday 31 January 2011

Thank You!

This is a big THANK YOU, for following my blog.
All comments, good, bad or indifferent (but not abusive and please no swearing - my aged brain will not tolerate it), suggestions, requests etc. will be most welcome.

Naturally I will reciprocate.

REMEMBER...

Thursday 27 January 2011

Signed Up At last!

After recently completing the basic and advanced writing courses provided free (yes free!) by my local college, I decided that my dream of being a published writer was not as daunting as I first thought.
Free college classes are a good introduction to the craft of writing, but because of the size of the classes (there were 20 students at each session I attended), and time limits (each class was only two hours long), individual tuition and guidance from the tutor was not possible...