Before reading the article, I was ecstatic. Having completed several short stories, which I personally thought were great (well I am my # 1 fan), after spending several agonising months working on my little darlings, getting the plots and themes just right, perfecting the spelling and grammar, ensuring the layout was in accordance with the guidelines, making sure the word count wasn't one word over the required number, mothering my characters, and carrying out laborious research to ensure certain facts were correct - (well, I couldn't have one of my characters using a mobile phone in the 1945, could I?) All done and dusted. Yippee! I shouted. I can now send off my stories to various competitions and publishers. But before I do, I'll just have a read at the August edition of the Writers' Bureau E-zine website. Cue - click on Ten Top Tips...
Anyway, according to the tips for twists to avoid, it seems all my new short stories will end up on a publisher's slush pile. Whaah!
Here's the list:
"Ten Top Tips For Twists to Avoid
Many fiction editors are interested in stories
with a twist in the tail (or tale!) but these are perhaps the most difficult of
all stories to write convincingly. The twists themselves are only one part of
the mix, but if you can get that essential ingredient right it’s a start. Just
remember that what seemed fresh and original twenty or thirty years ago may
well look stale and hackneyed today. And some twists are a sign of weak
writing.
1. Clueless. Avoid any twists for which no clues
have been planted in the story. The reaction you want at the end is, “Of
course! Why didn’t I guess?” Don’t leave readers thinking, “How on earth was I
supposed to know that?”
2. Coincidence. They happen in real life, but
can look contrived in fiction. There should be a reason why X meets Y, or A
reads about B – a shared interest, a family connection. Bring this out in your
clues.
3. Dream. You can almost hear fiction editors
around the world groaning as they read yet another story where it all turned
out to be a dream. Planning one like that? Dream on!
4. Twins. Whether it’s a romantic interlude with
the “wrong” twin or a baddie literally getting away with murder, twins in
twists are best avoided.
5. Sister, long-lost cousin, wedding planner.
Mistaken identity again – steer clear of a husband spotted with an attractive
lady who turns out not to be his secret mistress after all.
6. Ghost. In one of the most obvious twists, a
character turns out to be a ghost. If you’re writing for a specific “twist”
slot, it would be even easier for readers to guess the outcome – so your story
wouldn’t have a ghost of a chance.
7. Role reversal. It’s not very original to have
someone preparing for their first day at school who turns out to be the
teacher, or a character nervous about the wedding who’s really the vicar, not
the bride.
8. Cat, dog, parrot. Furry and feathered friends
appear on many editors’ lists of “pet” (!) hates. If your story depends on the
protagonist (or any character) turning out to be an animal, think again. Same
goes for inanimate objects like park benches, but even more so.
9. Cheats. Some editors’ guidelines advise you
to picture your story as a TV drama, which will help you identify and avoid
many of the weaker twists. Viewers would see details that you were hiding in
print.
10. Plan backfires. If an unpleasant character
is planning to bump off a rival, many readers would guess that the would-be
murderer ends up getting killed. It’s been done to death! There are, of course,
exceptions to every rule. But they do need to be… exceptional. If you have a
brilliant idea for a story that incorporates one of these twists, and your
writing is of the highest quality and your characters and plot are strong, by
all means try it on your editor. But don’t say you haven’t been warned!"
Of course, I've previously read similar tips in hundreds of advice columns, writer's handbooks etc., etc. Trouble is, no-one ever gives advice on twists that are fresh, good, excellent, gripping and more important, ones that will have a publisher immediately sending a, 'We want this - cheque is on the way', e-mail to me.
Whaah, whaah and more whaah's!
Ah well, (sniff) - back to the drawing board. But first, I have to sack my muse - he's just got to go!
Happy writing everyone.
Oh dear, I am not sure what is left when all those possibilities have been ruled out, but perhaps my imagination and originality have gone awol (not permanently, I hope) - I shall have to stick to non-fiction for the time being!
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