My Writing Group

Happy New Year! (Yes I know it's the 20th January, but I'm saying it anyway!)

I have been attending the Cleckheaton Writer's Group for a couple of years now and tonight's meeting was extremely enjoyable.

I do like going to the meetings as the other group members give me encouragement, a kick up the backside when I have not been writing, and more importantly, I like each member.

Not posted anything on here for a while, and I really should keep up. Just hope there are still people out there who are still interested in reading my blog.

Till next time ( I promise I won't leave it too long).

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing!

Inspiring Quote

"When troubled remember - thou hast forgotten:

that all things happen according to the universal nature;

that a man's wrongful act is nothing to thee;

that everything happens, has always happened so and will happen so and now happens so everywhere;

how close is the kinship between a man and the whole human race, for it is a community, not of a little blood or seed, but of intelligence;

that every man's intelligence is God and is an efflux of the deity;

that nothing is man's own, but that his child and his body and his very soul shall come from the deity;

that everything is opinion;

that every man lives in the present time only and loses only this." 

Marcus Aurelius, Philosopher and Roman Emperor

Still Here!

Sorry to my followers for not writing anything on my blog since my birthday last July! But I do have an excuse - well two really.

I became a Great Aunt twice in the space of 5 months. On the 5th October 2012 my great nephew Oliver Joseph was born. First child to for my Nephew Phillip and his fiance Laura. Then on 4th February 2012, my second Great Nephew, Archie James, was born. First child for my second Nephew Jamie (Phillips brother) and his wife Gemma.

In spite of my knitting for both, I had to knit new items within a week of each being born because the ones I had knit were either too big or too small! Both are doing well though and this is one lady who is proud to be a Great Aunt!

Cia for now.

A1Writer.

Birthday

Well it's my birthday today and I have had a fabulous lazy day, doing absolutely nothing. All I need now is to win the Euro Millions tonight and my day will end perfectly. If I don't win? I have a lovely box of chocolates as consolation.

Ciao for now. P

Writer's Block

When I find myself suffering from  the dreaded 'writer's block,' I try to solve  the problem  by setting myself a writing exercise. Though, I have to admit, lately I have found it difficult to follow my own advice!

I usually begin with a blank page and write at the top 'Writer's Block - What it means to me at this moment' and then I write down my answer. I set myself a target of at least 12 paragraphs, with the first word of each paragraph beginning with the letter of the title e.g. Para 1 first word beginning with the letter W, Para 2 first word beginning with the letter R, Para 3, first word beginning with the letter I, and so on. I also give myself a target of about 50 words in each paragraph

After I have done that, I reward myself by taking a break (my vice is chocolate and cream cakes) by going for a short walk, meet a friend for a coffee, or visit a member of my family, anything to get out of the house and away from the 'writing mode.'

If it is too late in the evening to go out, I pick up a book and read or listen to some music - accompanied by chocolate and cake of course!

By the time I am ready to review what I have written for my 'Writer's Block' exercise, I think, 'this is a load of twaddle and I can do better' or an idea for a short story springs to mind and I start on that.

What I try to do is see 'Writer's Block' as a challenge that I can surmount and a stepping-stone to fulfilling my dream. So what if it does take another 23 years to complete my book? Just thinking about all that chocolate and lovely cream cakes is worth it.

So how do you get over writer’s block? Do you believe writer's block exists, or is it just an alternative phrase for laziness?

Ciao for now.


Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing. P

New Writing Group

I attended my first meeting at the CWG this evening and I must say I enjoyed it immensely as we discussed a wide range of topics, and commented on each other’s work on the writing challenge D set for us which covered dialogue.

I was nervous reading out my work, particularly as it was my first session, and I wasn’t sure if I’d fit in. I needn’t have worried though, I was made to feel very welcome and my work was well received. I am looking forward to the next meeting with great enthusiasm.

More later…

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing. P

Writing Groups

I have recently found out that there is a writing group held in my local (Birstall) library each week on Wednesdays and another one held bi-weekly on Monday evenings at Cleckheaton  I have decided to join both groups.

I went to my first meeting at Birstall on Wednesday and came away with renewed vigour to get on with my writing, especially as we were given an exercise to write about. Next meeting not until 25th July 2012, so I have a couple of weeks to put something on paper.

I received a call from K one of the members of the Cleckheaton Writers Group and I am so looking forward to attending my first session there on Monday 23rd July 2012. I was really pleased with my conversation with K who gave me all the gen on the meetings and said I'd be very welcome to join the Clekcheaton group. She even gave me details of the homework to be presented at the next meeting. So that's two lots of homework I have. Brill.

With my birthday being on Tuesday 24th July 2012, I have a few things to really look forward to.

Unfortunately, I just haven't had the motivation  to move on with my assignments for Writers' Bureau course. Maybe after completing the homework for the writers groups I will find the impetus to get going again. Watch this space!

Since recovering from my accident and caring for my mother during her illness (she's on the way to being herself again, thank goodness), I've been struggling not only with my writing, but with trying to find new clients.  It's at times like these when being self-employed is not great. With so many firms closing down in my area, and redundancy threats for many workers, people just don't have any spare money to use my services, and those who do, insist on paying next to nothing!. But as the saying goes, 'you get what you pay for' and I refuse to be badgered into reducing my already competitive prices. Enough of my moaning - have a couple of writing exercises to do.

Till next time...

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing and thanks for still following me. x

Pauline.

Joke of the Month!

A Yorkshire man walks into a Leeds High Street bank & asks for a loan. He tells the bank manager he is going to Australia on business for two weeks & needs to borrow £5,000.
 
The bank manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Yorkshireman hands over the keys and documents of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.  After scrutinising the logbook and everything else checks out, the bank manager agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. 
 
The bank manager and the bank staff all enjoy a good laugh at the rough-looking Yorkshireman for using a £120,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5000 loan. The bank manager then instructs an employee of the bank to drive and park the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage.
 
Two weeks later, the Yorkshireman returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest of £15.41.
 
The bank manager says to the Yorkshireman, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely but, we are a little puzzled...
 
While you were away, we checked you out further and found that you are a multi-millionaire. We are puzzled as to why you would bother to borrow "£5,000”.
 
The Yorkshireman replies: "Where else in Leeds can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return"?
 
 
Ah, the mind of a true Yorkshireman...
 
This is why they survive.

Have a great day.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

Pauline (A1Writer) - Yorkshire Woman

Writer’s Block and How I Overcome It

When I find myself questioning my abilities I view 'writer's block' as a writing exercise.

I usually begin with a blank page and write at the top 'Writer's Block - What it means to me at this moment' and then I write down my answer. I set myself a target of at least 12 paragraphs, with the first word of each paragraph beginning with the letter of the title e.g. Para 1 first word beginning with the letter W, Para 2 first word beginning with the letter R, Para 3, first word beginning with the letter I, and so on. I also give myself a target of about 50 words in each paragraph.

After I have done that, I reward myself by taking a break (my vice is chocolate and cream cakes) by going for a short walk, meet a friend for a coffee, or visit a member of my family, anything to get out of the house and away from the 'writing mode.'

If it is too late in the evening to go out, I pick up a book and read or listen to some music - accompanied by chocolate and cake of course!

By the time I am ready to review what I have written for my 'Writer's Block' exercise, I think, 'this is a load of twaddle and I can do better' or an idea for a short story springs to mind and I start on that.

What I try to do is see 'Writer's Block' as a challenge that I can surmount and a stepping-stone to fulfilling my dream. So what if it does take another 22 years to complete my book? Just thinking about all that chocolate and lovely cream cakes is worth it.

So how do you get over writer’s block?

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.
A1Writer x

The Joys of Becoming a Senior Member of Society!

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for not tidying the house and polishing the furniture, or buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that stretches over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a car hits somebody’s beloved pet? But broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think.

I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!





Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.
A1Writer x

Joke of the Month Is Back!

I resent the implication that blondes are dumb -  but this is sooooo funny:

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said, 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool,' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions,' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?’  The second is, 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is, 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve.'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied; 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his Billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

Worse, you're now singing it to yourself!

Have a productive day.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing!

A1Writer.

Time To Move On

The time has come I think to make at least one post in 2012, especially as my last post was a Christmas greeting! I have slowly recovered from my injury and have even found the inclination to look at my WB course material again. Maybe I will actually complete assignments 3 and 4!

All is not lost however, I have written a couple of short stories. Just need to have the confidence in submitting them.

In January, I placed my CV on various jobsites. It's amazing, in spite of all these jobs being advertised by recruitment agencies, once they get you signed up on their "candidate list", those jobs "disappear."

I'd retire completely, unfortunately I stepped on the property market rather late in life after my divorce and still have a mortgage to pay so I need to earn a crust or two. Any ideas anyone?

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

A1Writer

I apologise!

To my followers, please forgive my not placing the monthly joke (for September) and comments since 18 August 2011. Unfortunately I have not been very well since an articulated truck decided it didn't like the back of my car! It didn't help when the policeman attending the scene informed my 77 year old mother that I was lucky! Had the container hit my car in the drivers side rather than the back, I would not be here. Thanks Mr Policeman, mum nearly had a heart attack!

Anyway I am recovering, I suffered whiplash and am undergoing physio and counselling for the depression and anxiety about driving near trucks.

My writing has sufffered as well, but I am still here and hope to be making some comments soon.

In the meantime. if I have missed anything, or failed to respond to any comments, please forgive me.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing!

Ciao for now. x

New Warning Released!

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver.
Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and ice will ruin your brain.
Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth.


Apparently, ice is lethal! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice - Just drink it straight.


Copy & paste this immediately. You could save a life. And don't forget, ice also sunk the Titanic!

Ten Top Tips For Twists To Avoid - Writers' Bureau E-Zine Section

I have just finished reading the Ten Top Tips For Twists To Avoid article (my goodness all those 'Ts')  in the Writers E-Zine section for August 2011 at Writers Bureau and I'm gutted!

Before reading the article, I was ecstatic. Having completed  several short stories, which I personally thought were great (well I am my # 1 fan), after spending several agonising months working on my little darlings, getting the plots and themes just right, perfecting the spelling and grammar, ensuring the layout was in accordance with the guidelines, making sure the word count wasn't one word over the required number,  mothering my characters, and  carrying out laborious  research to ensure certain facts were correct - (well, I couldn't have one of my characters using a mobile phone in the 1945, could I?)  All done and dusted. Yippee! I shouted. I can now send off my stories to various competitions and publishers.  But before I do, I'll just have a read at the August edition of the Writers' Bureau E-zine website. Cue - click on Ten Top Tips...

Anyway, according to the tips for twists to avoid, it seems all my new short stories will end up on a publisher's slush pile.  Whaah!

Here's the list:

Fable of the Porcupine

I never knew porcupines were so cute as babies. Good story with a great message.

Have you ever seen a baby porcupine?

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

I firmly believe there is hope for us!

2011: The following questions were set in last year's GSE examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Nearly One Year On!

I can't believe that with just one month to go, I will have been a student of WB for one year, and yet I have  completed just two assignments! 

I can only apologise to myself for the dwindling enthusiasm of the course, and I have no excuse. I could, of course, say that 'life is taking over'- but at the end of the day, I am just not motivated enough to finish assignment three and start number four.

I did, however, receive good comments from my tutor on my first two assignments, although to be honest, I wasn't too enamoured at my tutor's, 'see this post for advice on dialogue punctuation' with an html link to their blog/website, comment on my second assignment.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having errors pointed out to me, I expect that and I am all for people advertising their websites, blogs and books  at every opportunity. But I do take exception at having blatant adverts linked to advice comments on my course work, especially when the comments referred to two, (yes, just two) 'dialogue punctuation' errors, in a 1,180 word short (mostly dialogue) story. My 'errors' were typographical ones, where I'd missed a comma before, 'he said' in one place and I used a capital letter instead of a lower case letter in another.

Nevertheless, I decided, what the heck, as my tutor is a published writer, I'll have a look at the article. Who knows, there may be something on punctuation that I don't know, or something new and I clicked on the link. The article was good, for someone who knew absolutely nothing about dialogue punctuation and was new to writing.  As I said, my two errors were typographical. There was, however, a link in the article referring to the tutor's  'checklist for writers' book and thinking there would be a more detailed resume of the book, and other tips and advice that I would find useful, I clicked on that link. I was taken directly to Ebay with a view to purchasing the book.

There were mixed reviews from other buyers and even though I didn't really need another advice book on punctuation, dialogue or otherwise, as the book (rrp £9.99 which I think is reasonable for a good writing instruction book) was being sold brand new for £5.82 with free delivery, and my tutor had written it, I bought it. At least I can add it to my rather extensive library. :-)

Was it a good buy? Well, to be honest, it's not the best resource book on writing, but it was easy to read and will be helpful for anyone who is just starting out. There are some good tips on sending in articles to magazines, and I will keep it in my collection simply because my tutor co-authored it.


Think I ought to get back to my assignments.

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep writing.

Monthly Joke

The Irish  Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To be a Millionaire' and towards the end of the program he’d already won 500,000 Euros.

   "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter. "But for a million Euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"

   "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

   "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

   a) Sparrow

   b) Thrush

   c) Magpie

   d) Cuckoo."

   "I haven't got a clue," said Mick, ''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin."

   Chris called up Paddy, explained the circumstances, and passed him over to Mick who repeated the question to him.

   "*#+*in hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple, it's a cuckoo."

   "Are you sure?"

   "I'm #*+*in sure."

   Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."

   "Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

   "Dat it is."

   There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick. You've won 1 million Euros!"

   The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

   "Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

   "Because he lives in a *#*+in clock!"